Monday, 24 November 2014

Friend, Foe or Frenemy!

Friendships are really important in a person’s life. There are different levels of friendship which are never really obvious on the surface; it is only when you reach a crisis point in your life that you find out just who your true friends are. Friends are not just those creatures that God put on the earth to do crazy things with; to paint the town (and faces) red; to ward off those stalkers or to talk you into doing something you'd never imagine you'd do; but they are sometimes family as well. Of course we have our best friends who are often closer to us than family; they share all of our secrets and know us inside out. We all have ‘fair weather friends’ who help us to celebrate and only arrive on our doorsteps when they need something from us, and then there are invisible friends who aren’t really there at all!  In life we face a number of challenges and unfortunately, one of those challenges is a fake friend. Now, if you're one of those people who tend to see the good in others and are often faced with the fake friend dilemma, here are tips on: "HOW TO SPOT A FAKE FRIEND"

They are selfish
Typically, a fake friend will only call you when they want or need something. Rarely, will they call for other reasons. You often get the impression that they are only calling you because no one else was available.

They thrive on gossip and drama
If someone enjoys gossiping about others, then they may be gossiping behind your back as well. Gossiping and spreading rumors has serious consequences and is at the base of relational aggression. You find yourself agreeing with them so as to keep the peace and not get into an argument. Avoid friendships with people who thrive on gossip and drama.

They require you to pretend
The hallmark of a healthy friendship is that you can be yourself. If you feel like you have to wear a mask or can’t be real, then that is the sign of a fake friend. You don't have to talk or dress differently in order to fit in. Fake friends also resort to peer pressure.

Fake friends lie
Many times, fake friends do not feel good about who they are so they lie about their accomplishments, their clothes, their possessions – anything to make themselves look better. And if they lie about themselves, they will lie about you too.  If you catch a friend in multiple lies, it’s probably not a healthy friendship.

Fake friends are critical
If their friends are constantly criticizing them, it is time to take a closer look at the friendship. Real friends are supportive and encouraging, but fake friends often criticize. Girls in particular are guilty of being critical about weight, dress-code, looks, etc.

They are not happy when you succeed
If your friends have something insulting to say every time time you succeed, then they are not real friends. Real friends celebrate one another’s accomplishments.

You have never felt comfortable enough with them to tell them a secret.
Usually, good friends will keep one another’s secrets. Real friends don’t tell the world who you are crushing on. If your friends is always spilling the beans, then it’s time to start considering that they are not friend-worthy.

Fake friends rarely have your back
Real friends will stick up for one another, especially when faced with a dilemma. Meanwhile, a fake friend will either be a quiet bystander even take part in the the whatever is happening to avoid becoming the next victim. If this is a regular occurrence, start looking for another group of REAL friends.

Take the 'Fake Friend Quiz' here and find out if you have a fake friend that you need to get rid of.

Remember, fake friends are toxic and once you have them, prepare for disaster (just kidding), or not!
And if you're the fake friend reading this, honey, you might wanna change your ways especially if you don't wanna end up alone & friendless with no one to tell about your crushes, with no one to go shopping with or with no one to lift you up when you're down (yeah, all that and more, you get the picture).

That's all for now. I'll be back  in a jiffy! Mwahugs!

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